Anyone out there? I come baring Soup.

Butternut Squash Soup

Wooo it’s Wednesday! Honestly that means jack sh*t to me right now, seeing as I have no job nor social life to speak of, so days of the week hardly matter. But I only realized part way through the day that it was Wednesday, and not Tuesday. What does that mean now? Friggin’ squat quite frankly, but it was just a weird feeling. Aaaaanywho.

So over the weekend I was orchestrating in my once-weekly “Cooksapalooza” where I generally cook a crap ton o’ food so that I have meals ready and rockin’ to go for the week. I end up making food for approximately 21 meals in one day. Ok that’s an exaggeration, but I make a crap ton of food on either Saturday or Sunday. Well on Saturday I was allllll ready to go with a really tasty sounding crock-pot recipe I found on PaleOMG (b.t.dubs Juli is hilarrrious and full of great ideas. Check her out NOWWW). The story that is to follow is in NOOOOO way a reflection of Juli’s epic recipes, I am just an a$$hole. Well I sometimes have a tendency to not follow recipes to the “t” so well really… I just sort of figure “ehhh, a pinch of that looks about right. A splash of that should be fiiiiiine!” Ok in truth, I’m lazy. I don’t feel like getting out measuring spoons and cups, and then having to clean said stupid spoons and cups… USUALLY things go ok for me. Well not this time. It was supposed to be a meatball recipe, and I should’ve known better when I started smushing meat into ballish formations and they were just kind of… mushy… Like more than normal… But instead of listening to my hesitations, I just said “eh! It’ll be fiiiine!” and then proceeded to sit and watch Harry Potter while it cooked, since it was raining and rainy days mean Harry Potter and hot tea days.

Fast forward to 3 hours later when I go to check out the crock-pot sitch (that smelled delicious mind you). Well I lift off the cover and somethin’ just don’t look right… I poke at the ballllls and ohhhhhh noooooo… They are just kind of… shmushy… SH*T. I try picking one up with a spoon. Nope. Lou, you’re screwed. So I start getting pissed and all huffy and end up stirring the whole concoction around in the crock-pot. BIG MISTAKE. GROTESQUE. It looked like prison food. Not that I know what prison food is mind you. But it was GROSS. And SCARY. And it made me ANGRY. That was like $15 worth of grass-fed ground beef dammit! Thankfully my awesome “roomie” Judy (the wonderful friend of MummaD who has taken me until I get my feet under me and find my own place here in San Deigo) had her wits about her to calm me down and start getting resourceful. Long story REALLY long, we made it into a really awkward meatloaf, and while the flavors were TO DIE FOR, the texture kind of freaked me out…

Anywho, so last night I had to redeem myself. I NEVER have cooking disasters, and Saturday night’s dinner was supposed to be for Judy and I, and we ended up eating leftovers. Womp womp. So in my quest for redemption I made my all-time-favorite, I-can’t-eff-this-up-cuz-I’ve-made-it-a-bazillion-times “Butternut Squash Soup” and pair it with some yummy Coconut Curry chicken tenders. This soup is all things happiness and looove in my mind. I make it souper thick (see what I did there? Huh? Huh? I am awesome), and the flavors are just stupid delicious.

It just occurred to me that my first recipe post revolves around talking about an epic kitchen failure… Note to self, when trying to start a blog about cooking, try to avoid talking about how much you apparently suck at it. Too late! This soup is wicked delish though, does that make up for it?

Ingredients

• 2Tbs EVOO (extra virgin olive oil, duuuuh)
• 2Tbs Rosemary (fresh is bestest!)
• 1 large sweet onion, chopped
• 1 large butternut squash, peeled and cubed.
• 2-3cup Low Sodium free range chicken stock

1. In a large sauce pan over medium heat, sauté fresh rosemary. Add in onions and stir to coat with rosemary and oil.
2. Let the onions cook down a bit, just so they’re a bit soft. Throw in the butternut squash chunks and toss this shizz all together so everything’s coated in in EVOO and rosemary like a big happy family.
3. Now pour in the chick stock into the pot as well. I like to go on the more conservative side of things because I really like this soup thick, versus runny and whimpy. But hey, if you like your soup whimpy, add more stock as you please. Whimp.
4. Cover the pot and increase heat to high so it brings the liquid to a boil. Once things are a rollin’ in the pot, turn it down to a simmer and let it go for about 10-12 minutes. You should be able to easily stab one of those squash suckers with a fork quite easily.
5. Once the squash is thoroughly cooked, turn off the heat and let it cool for a bit. Here you can either throw this concoction in a food processor/high speed blender, or if you have a neato immersion blender like Iiiii do ($14 at Target, wut wut!) you can keep it all in the stock pot and blend the crap out of it right there. Did I mention I like not having to clean extra dishes?

Garnish with a sprig of rosemary, some roasted pumpkin seeds, or if you’re into the whole dairy thing go forth and be creamy with some crem fraiche or whatevs. Yum!

Enjoy loves! Take care and be well,

Lou<3s