Neither of those are real words, I am fully aware of this. I will be publishing my own “Guide to Lou” in the near future including a dictionary of my words to assist those in better understanding what the eff I am saying. I say “my words” like I personally invented them, but usually what happens is my brain goes too fast wanting to say something and my mouth just fails miserably in forming said comment, so half-combination words come out like “wickawes..mmm” which should obviously be “wicked awesome”… Or I just blatantly use words that don’t make sense in the current situation, but are great for situations needing an exclamation where it would be uber inapropro (see?? There’s another one!) to go swearing like a sailor. Case in point: “french toast!” “holy cannoli!” or when I particularly like something “cool beans!” I know, it’s totally surprising they ALL involve shouting about food. “BACON!” No, I don’t really shout that. At least not outloud. I think it a lot. Like, a lot a lot. For a long time I wanted to be Xenon, Girl of the 21st Century, so I went around saying “ZETUS LEPIDUS!” in response to everything. Children of the 90’s, are you with me! Also, I’d like to have a serious talking to with those earth kids who picked on Xenon when she got “grounded”. Seriously though, a kid who lives on a spaceship comes to your school and you bully her?! What craptasticness is that about??
Did you hear that rumor about Cookie Monster being changed to the “Veggie Monster”? No? Well you obviously don’t spend enough time online. It doesn’t matter though, because apparently it’s total crap. Wikipedia knows all. It is true though that Cookie Monster is now touting that “cookies are a sometimes food” and how he loves fruit and eggplants these days. Whatever Cookie Monster, that’s a a load of sh*t. You know as well as I do you don’t quit a cookie habit developed in the late 60’s and suddenly live off fruit and nightshade plants and continue a successful career. I’m totally kidding. I think it’s great that they are emphasizing “mindful” eating, or some corporate version of it (even though he still MOWS FAAAACE on these “healthy foods” to a point you could argue he has a bingeing issue). It’s tough being a kid being bombarded with an insane number of flashy commercials for HFCS filled frankenfood and a funny looking blue monster stuffing his pie-hole with chocolate chip cookies. Here Cookie Monster defends his new pro-veggie stance on the Colbert Report and talks about his crazy times during the 70’s when he was “the Robert Downey Jr. of cookies.” (FFwd to 2min-ish)
Ok, here are two yummy yumness veggielicious sides (more made up words) that I’m a pretty big fan of. Now I’m gonna go spend inapropro amounts of time on Pinterest and PetFinder. My Saturday nights rival those of hip 90 year olds, I know this.
Bacon Brussel Sprout Badassness
- 1lb Brussel sprouts, washed, halved or quarter (depending on size) and tough ends trimmed
- 1 apple, cored and diced
- 1 yellow/sweet onion diced
- 1 Tbsp fresh rosemary, chopped
- 3 Tbsp EVOO
- 3 Tbsp balsamic vinegar
- 6 slices bacon
- Preheat oven to 400*
- Line a cookie sheet with aluminum foil and place the bacon on it without letting it overlap. Stick ‘er in the oven. Set a timer for 12 minutes for nottoooverlysupercrispy style bacon, longer if you want it more crispy. Duh. (But seriously set a timer if you’re particular about your “doneness” of bacon like I am and have a tendency to forget about things in the oven. Like I do…)
- Combine the sprouts through balsamic vinegar in a large mixing bowl and toss all that shizz together. Spread it out into a glass baking dish (one that is large enough so that it’s in one layer, versus all piled up). Into the oven it goes!
- Once your timer goes off for the bacon, pull that out and let the bacon drain/cool on some paper towels. Set the timer for another 25 minutes, making sure to stir the sprouts at least once during that time.
- Once the bacon as cooled, chop it up. Remove the sprouts from the oven and add in the bacon.
Lemony Thyme Carrots
- 1lb carrots
- 3 Tbsp coconut oil
- 2 Tsp fresh thyme, chopped
- Juice of 1 lemon
- Preheat oven to 375*
- Wash the carrots, cutting 1/2in off of both ends and discarding. Slice the carrots into 1/4in or so pieces and place in a mixing bowl.
- Melt coconut oil in the microwave (this will take barely 15 seconds depending on your microwave, proceed with caution). Pour over the carrots
- Add in thyme and lemon juice, stirring it all together. Then spread into a glass baking dish.
- Roast for 35 minutes, or until they reach your desired doneness, being sure to stir at least once during the cooking time. 35 mins will still have a tiny crunch to them, but not so done that they are baby food mush.