Lazy @$$ Chicken Thi’s & my fear of children

This recipe is so lazy, I didn’t even spell “thigh” out the whole way. I am such a rebel. What is up with us abbreviating every other word these days? I typed “deec” in a Facebook message today because that’s what I say when I mean “decent”… What the eff??! It’s one more syllable Emily! Honestly this just goes along with my penchant (THAT is an awesome real word beeteedubs) for making up my own vocabulary. But I get so torn between cutting words short into “deec” or “legit”, and then using those awesome 50cent words like TRUNCATE. I mean, honestly, TRUNCate. It’s like an elephant, with a trunk, chopping off the end of a word and then he ate it. That’s what my brain thinks of when I hear that word… I can’t believe I just admitted to that…

So here’s a little rant for ya. I work in retail as a store manager. Most people hate working retail with a desperate undying passion. Now, I don’t love retail, but I’m good at. I can shmooze with the best of them. And the store I work in is specifically women’s clothing, so I am very good at convincing ladies that they must have one of *these*, and definitely don’t forget one of *thoooose*. The only time I start hatin’ life is when these women with their young children waltz into the store… Now let’s preface this with the fact that I used to think kids were super cute; oh sweet naivete. NOW, I dread those tiny humans with their itty bitty sticky hands of indescribable destruction. They come tottering into the store behind mommy and start picking up all of the *perfectly folded* clothes that I have worked so hard to put in place, and wipe their gross ice cream faces on our $35 t-shirts. And they smell like poo. That is NOT a figure of speech. Legit (#sorryItruncated), dirty diapers and all. While Mommy takes her sweet @$$ time trying on every g.d. outfit and not paying the SLIGHTEST attention to her Satan spawn, I run around picking up everything Chucky & his sister get their diabolical hands on, all the while trying not to gag at SuzySatan’s OopsICrappedMyPants nonchalance with her sh*t trousers. Honestly, I must have some hormonal imbalance because children just effing freak me out. (**sorry mom… It seriously upsets her when I talk about kids like this seeing as it inhibits her desire to be a grandparent. But really, reeeallyyy. Kids?! Me?! Gaaaah)

This chicken is stupiddelicious-easypeasylemonsqueezy. I originally made it with 3 ingredients, but I think the added rosemary is pretty bombtastic too. Take yo pick. 4 ingredients?? Yea dude, you can doooo this! Four for you Glen Coco! You go Glen Coco.

Rosemary Honey Dijon Chicken Thighs (that’s the appropro name for this recipe)

  • 1 package chicken thighs (the ones I get from Trader Joe’s are just over a pound – they’re skinless though… bummer…)
  • 1/4 c Dijon mustard (I also use TJ brand on this, just mustard seed/vinegar/salt/spices/turmeric in it. Hoo rah)
  • 1 Tbsp Raw Honey
  • 1 Tbsp Fresh Chopped Rosemary
  1. Preheat the oven to 375*
  2. In a medium mixing bowl combine the mustard, honey & rosemary, whisk/stir until the honey is well incorporated into the mustard. This could take a bit…
  3. Rinse the chicken thighs and put into the bowl the the mustard mix. Stir the thighs around until they are well coated.
  4. Place chicken on a broiler pan or in a baking dish and put in the oven.
  5. Bake for 35mins (possibly give or take 5 mins depending on size of the thighs. Itty bitty ones can finish up in 30mins or less).
  6. Take that week night meal where you don’t wanna do anything!
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